Say Yes To Your Most Purposeful Self

By Adrienne Fikes

Be honest with yourself for just a moment. No one else matters right now. Let's talk about what you really want. This is not about what you are responsible for. This is not about what they want you to do. Just for this moment, don't concern yourself about what should be. Sit with the idea that you could have it. Yes, something floated into your thoughts and you have stopped reading this long enough to push that thought away.

Have you noticed that you push it away every time that particular dream floats into your mind? It's an unconscious reflex. Oh, you have plenty of really good reasons to push back. It won't work. You've tried before. They would be upset. You don't deserve it. It can't happen because it hasn't happened before. You have real responsibilities. You don't have time. It would be selfish of you to do that. It's scary to think about it. Oh, and the most dangerous way to kill your dream - you're planning to say yes, just not today. You'll get back to it one day. As soon as X, Y and Z align with A, B, and C. What if you weren't afraid to stand up and ask for what you want? What if you stood up in your own power and purpose and declared that vision for your life. What if you actually got what you asked for? Who would you be if you really believed you deserved to make it happen?

That probably feels very selfish to you. I realized it's difficult to think of yourself when you have managed to busy yourself for years thinking only of what others need and want from you. Between me and you, I know the resentment is building in your heart. It's no secret the pace is wearing you out. You're exhausted. You're feeling unappreciated and disrespected.

Well, what are you going to do about it? I suggest you stand up. No, this isn't about telling someone off or giving them a piece of your mind. The hard truth is they treat you that way because you allow it. So let's deal with you first. Let's talk about why you are the first person you must say yes to. You are the one that you must serve first. Yes, you keep thinking it's selfish. Well, you've been doing it the other way for so long. Is that way working for you? How much more effective would you be if you allowed yourself to have the type of joy that nourishes you and energizes you?

Say yes to yourself first. Take care of yourself. Feed your dreams. Every reason you list as a "good reason" not do move forward is actually a reason why you must move forward. Just for this moment, imagine what your most powerful purposeful self would do despite the good reasons not to do it. Imagine how it would feel to let go of the control and let go of the fear and let go of the doubt and let go of the worry and just stand up in your purpose and power.

When you allow your most powerful purposeful self to show up, you begin to see answers where there were no solutions. You begin to feel courage where there was only fear. You start surprising yourself with a deep sense of wisdom that you didn't even remember was within you. You get to a point where you stop putting energy into the doubt you feel and just focus on what step to take next. You can choose to keep doing things in fear or you can decide right now to say yes. Let your most powerful purposeful self stand up, step up, and show you exactly what to do in this next moment.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Adrienne_Fikes

The Pearl of Great Price - Finding Blessing in Suffering

By Joleen Halloran

In the midst of great progress in my spiritual journey, a storm has erupted. It is at times like these when our truths are challenged and we lose our way temporarily. I recently got into a huge altercation with someone that is very dear to me. Many people are affected by this and there is no shortage of suffering to go around about this situation. Since I spend most of my time writing and studying the concepts behind living a joyous and unlimited life, when you become crippled by hurt or anger, it is quite humbling and painful.

I am just beginning to start on my second book about spiritual awakening and using spiritual power to liberate ourselves from conditioned limitations. So, for several months I have been deeply studying and then writing about my first focus in the book, which is the spiritual power of love. If you really think about it, there are only two ways of doing things - out of love and out of fear. Everything else is a subset of one of those qualities. When we truly act out of unconditional love, then nothing can stand in our way for peace, joy, abundance, and love.

When this incident erupted quite suddenly out of this peaceful and uplifting time of beginning this book, my first reaction was to think about how this situation could be a blessing incognito. That first night, I spent a good deal of time meditating/contemplating about the possible lesson in this situation. I felt calmed the next day, but not rooted. I couldn't shake the uneasiness in my mind and body. Later, a new development evolved that crumbled what remaining calmness I had left. I could literally feel myself be consumed by an emotion that I very rarely felt these days - and that is raw anger.

A couple days later, although no resolution was made, time and more deep study eased some of the tension, but I knew that I had to face my loved one with my thoughts. I dived into my practices to regain my peace before this meeting and I gained many great insights but at the moment of the meeting, the only one attending for me, was the ego self. I began the meeting angry and forceful with my views. I felt justified, no doubt, and the meeting ended quite badly with new heights of anger and division. Although, my close loved ones were compassionate and supportive of my stance, my remorse and my hypocrisy of my spiritual "persona" stung. Where was the love that I just wrote about one short week ago in a book I hoped to inspire many regarding the enormous power of it?

I knew that rumination about the situation was not helpful to anyone, but small tidbits of information that kept coming to me were fanning the flame of this highly volatile situation. I felt a literal heaviness of heart that it had come to this, and that I had no immediate solution to the problem either. Years of a spiritual practice that I cherished and promote all of the sudden seemed very far away. After moments of deep meditation or study, I began to feel released, free, and inspired, and then bam, something new would be said and I could feel my whole being fill with liquid darkness. What was I hanging on to that kept this suffering alive? Intellectually I could see the path, but instinctively, from a human survival standpoint, I couldn't walk in it.

Then during my studying I came across these passages from the Bible:

Matthew 13: 45 -46

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:
Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it. 
For me, the pearl of great price was the very thing that was on my mind before this whole thing started in the first place - Love. Only Love is worth giving up everything to cherish. No one seeks and finds this precious pearl without working hard to pry open its' outer casing. There are many ways to crack open the shell, but pain/suffering is definitely one of them, as well as deep meditation, service to others, compassion, and wisdom. The prize inside - Love - is the answer to every human problem. The Kingdom of Heaven that we seek is the Divine Love that is already present within and around us, in fact it is us. It became evident to me that if I am not acting out of Love, I must be in fear. It's really that simple.

When I think and act from Love, then I can have 100% certainty of my path. The voice in my head that insists on getting the last word in, or making sure my point is understood and recognized by anyone, or seeking compensation for my pain, is the voice of fear. When I am filled with Love, there are no needs to fill, because I am whole now.

The process to turn this truth into a human reality is a work in progress, but I know that any work that I do to walk in the lighted path of Love cannot be diminished. I will be challenged, certainly, but years of living in a fearful and "small" mind will be slowly chipped away as light begins to pervade the darkest areas of my mind. These challenges are the growing contractions of becoming free.

I have a renewed sense of purpose now and I will be meeting the remaining challenges of this situation in Love. If I stumble, I will not dwell in ANY way upon the fall, but celebrate the rising up from it.

I wanted to share this personal experience with you to hopefully inspire you as well, and frankly, the writing of my thoughts and my newest intentions has helped me too. Life can throw us some mean hardballs sometimes, but blessings come from these challenges also, and the moment we see and experience the blessing within the suffering, then we too have found the pearl of great price. Blessings - Joleen

Joleen Halloran is the author of Finding Home - Breaking Free from Limits under the pseudo name of Joleen Bridges. This book represents over 10 years of research and inspiration in personal and spiritual empowerment and provides readers with a pathway to overcome limits and discover authentic divine qualities in their lives and to live a life of unbounded freedom..

Beyond Joleen's professional life, she is an avid reader and researcher of books and other materials related to her profession, but also to her special passion, which is metaphysical and spirituality topics. You can find out more about Joleen's book at her books website, http://www.breakingfreefromlimits.com. Additional articles of a spiritual and inspirational nature can be found at the book's website as well. The book is available for purchase at Amazon and B&N.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Joleen_Halloran

Experiencing Hurt in Healing Ways

By Steve Wickham

Being hurt these days has a whole new world of meaning compared to being hurt before I was saved. Now I experience pain in being hurt without the disabling fear. I am still hurt, but the ferocity of my feelings against the source of my hurt is quelled completely. This is a miracle of God; to experience the truth of hurt, yet retain the perspective to be able to see whilst feeling; to retain conscious logic whilst reeling in some sense of despair; to maintain hope when the situation's joy has evaporated.

Experiencing hurt in healing ways is being connected with our sorrow, not running from it. When we connect to truth we also run to God.

Experiencing hurt in healing ways is a commitment of truth upon the protection of God; that the Lord has meaning and purpose in all things - having faith in that.

When we experience hurt in healing ways we are gifted the perspective that stops the tennis-match rally that would otherwise repeat the hurt again and again. We learn to absorb the hurt. We learn that grace is more than sufficient. We understand the copious power of God to transform hurt, in the moment's instant, into enough healing that we would not react in our hurt.

Experiencing hurt in healing ways is the process of surrender before God, that nothing is more important than that. And whilst it may seem a betrayal of our purposes, we know we must let go if God is to work in us and in the situation.

From the moment of hurt, through the ensuing days, we are blessed with more and more perspective. What started out as faith, to surrender our hurt to the only One who could help, has now redeemed good spiritual sense; we see plainly the blessing having not reacted.

Hurt is an abstract concept. Though we all get hurt, our hurt resonates as an echo from our very distant pasts. The inner child remains hurt. And the only one who can placate the child is God. We are God's children; each and every one of us.

But we can be disconnected from the pain within the hurt that causes our reaction when we approach truth; when we connect with God. Just understanding the processes of the inner child, that we all have, is valuable knowledge.

***

Experiencing hurt in healing ways is the help we need from God, even in the moment of hurt. With God there is perspective despite the pain; patience despite the anger; and sense enough not to react. With each day comes more perspective.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Baptist Pastor and holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com.au/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com.au/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Wickham

Stop Self-Doubt and Build Confidence

By Pam Reynolds

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Many times we allow others to dictate the rules and pass judgment on us. Of course at work our superiors do it all the time. The problem is bosses are not always correct in their conclusions of our work or behavior. Why one boss finds our work very good while another condemns it is frustrating. It is because like everything else, it is subjective. My idea about how to go about building something will most likely differ from your ideas about a structure. The person who gets to dictate is the person with more power. This does not mean they really have a better plan. It simply means they have the control over the rules. When one dictates the procedures, one also dictates the desired result. Even if we follow someone else's guidelines, there is no guarantee of the outcome. The only guarantee is that we will take the blame if we are not successful. The truth is many people are diminished and insecure because others fault them at work or in any group project or situation. The result is devastating to the person blamed, who begins feeling inadequate about everything they attempt.

We might think about the child on a sports team who is rarely played, so his job is to warm the bench. He loses precious time to improve his ball skills while the players who get more field time advance impressively. What happens is the athletes playing regularly build their confidence while those players who frequently sit out most of the game, build their self-doubt. At times this can carry over into other areas of their lives. Adults who have trouble getting along with the boss are in the same situation. They can't seem to get it right or improve whatever their boss is recommending. It would occur to any thinking person that it is not deliberate and the person is attempting to please their boss. After all they don't want to lose their job. Curiously the insecure person doesn't know how to get off of the damaging path they are treading.

The person becomes subordinate, has self-doubt and low self-esteem. These feelings add to his or her dilemma. What this person might have attempted before their insecurity fills them with fear. They are already under scrutiny and can't afford to make any mistakes. They begin doing everything by the rule book without any thoughts of good or bad. In the end they fail totally because the odds have been successfully stacked against them. The sorry part is that they are now diminished as a person and innately feel like a failure. They have lost their self-confidence and desire to try anything new. It carries into all areas of their lives and we now see a depressed person.

At one time this person was relevant and viable and had some self-worth. They felt competent at making decisions. The point is they are still the same person. They simply allowed themselves to be defined as a person, by somebody else. This definition is far removed from who they really are and what they truly are capable of doing. They need to understand this or they will dive into a full blown depression. It is amazing the power one can wield over another without permission. It is astounding that people would hurt another so deeply without a care. If a boss is upset with someone's work, they might simply get a mentor to intervene. They also might help the person with suggestions in a kind manner. Firing someone or ripping them apart is loathsome. There are other ways to deal with a person that would yield better results, keep their confidence intact and aid the workplace in the process.

Our attitudes, looks, age and personalities unfortunately enter into decisions others make about us. We may not be able to control these matters. What we can control and must control are our own beliefs. Our character is known to us and a higher being. Just because another person ranked higher in the job sphere does not mean they can dictate who or what we are. We must believe in ourselves and our abilities and leave no room for doubt. Having confidence and feeling adequate does not mean we can't accept criticism and input from others. Even the boss has crossed the line if we feel subordinate, stupid, incapable and immobilized. It really is our choice to refrain from believing this defines us. We are so much more than that. We are so much more than others even know about us. We might have to learn new things but we are capable of learning. Given the correct tools advice and help, we can accomplish much.

If we are uncomfortable in a work situation, we might think about switching areas within a company, switching hours or teams or attempting to find employment elsewhere. We always have choices. We should never feel boxed in. When we believe we have no alternatives, is when we shut down. Look around and search for your answers. You might team up with another worker. Ask others to help or take a refresher time but don't ever lose your value. All the wonderful things you do, can do and will do are lost if you give up on yourself. One person or one group's interpretation of what you are is ludicrous. Step back and put the whole scene into focus. Sometimes change is good and might be the right thing to do. We can't be afraid to step out into the unknown and take the chance. If we reflected we might realize things would not be any worse and they might just be better. Build your self-confidence and trust your own delineation of who you are.

"Don't be afraid to take a big step if needed. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps."

Anonymous

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." Dr. Martin Luther King

Author's Website: www.pamreynolds.me

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pam_Reynolds

4 Tips for Moving Forward After a Relationship Ends

By Tony T Tran

It is never good when a relationship ends because of the difficult strain and pressure that often comes from such a relationship. However, there are a few things that people can do when it comes to moving on after such a relationship ends. These four ideas should be seen so you can get a better idea of what you want to get out of your relationship. You should use them so you can have an easier time with keeping your life from going off the rails after a period of time.

The first tip is to make sure that you accept the fact that this relationship is over. People who don't accept the fact that a relationship has ended after often feel desperate when it comes to such a point. People will feel as though they want to do something of use just to try and get the relationship back and running. You have to just focus on moving forward without having to stick around and think that you can actually do something after a while.

The second tip will be to talk with your friends about the relationship. You have to talk with other people outside of whoever was in your relationship so you can let out your feelings. You just have to talk about what you feel you do wrong and address it with an audience that you are familiar with. This might be done to give you a way to communicate with someone and to express your feelings without any problems coming out of it.

Third, you should concentrate on some other things in your life to make yourself a little more enjoyable. You should take a look at other things like starting a new hobby or taking up classes in something of interest. It is good to concentrate on different actions in life so you can get your mind clear. You have to do this if you want to find a way to keep yourself from dealing with issues that come with what you might get yourself into.

The final thing to do when moving on is to talk with other people who you have not been in contact with for a while. Sometimes you might have a better time with other people who you are familiar with than if you just stuck with people who you might have tried to get into a relationship with. You have to control yourself the right way if you want to keep your relationships with people you are already familiar with strong while avoiding the old relationships that you have gotten out of after a while. It is all needed to make yourself feel at home.

You have to be sure that you know what to do when trying to get forward when moving through a relationship. A relationship might end up being a challenge for you but there is a way for you to get through it after a while when you take a look at what you can do to make it easier for you to move forward in life.

In conclusion You can read more Singles Advice and Online Dating Tips

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tony_T_Tran

7 Good Reasons Why Women Love Bad Boys

By Tony T Tran

If you are trying to make yourself more appealing to women then you need to think about how being a little rough and tough might be worth it. There are several reasons why women love bad boys as much as they do.

First, women love bad boys because they are men who are confident about what they are like. These include people who are willing to go along with whatever it is they want to do. It's an interesting change in the norm because there are way too many men out there who feel as though they aren't sure about what they need to do.

Second, there is the mysterious way how someone might be interested for something. Mysterious people are more attractive because they are a little more fun than what people often see elsewhere.

The third point about why women love these guys is because bad boys know how to give their women power. Women like men who are willing to let them have some kind of power after a while. This is an interesting part of dating because it suggests that a woman will have more control over her life as she is being treated by a good man. You might want to see how you are treating your woman with power in mind so you can figure out what you want to do out of it.

The fourth point about these men is that they are people who are more interested in engaging in sex. Women always like it when they get in touch with men who want to have sex often. Women have that desire for sex every once in a while and will want to feel confident about whatever it is they want to do. It is a big point that suggests how the nature of a man might be of interest for any point.

Another consideration is that women like guys who are daring. Women like men who have more testosterone. This means that a man will be more likely to take risks in life. He is not afraid of the consequences of anything that he might do. It is a real key that makes it easier for people to enjoy life.

You also have to think about how truthful you are. Daring men are not afraid to be honest. They are willing to speak their minds as they are. You could benefit off of this by simply thinking about what you want to say with your mind and not just with your heart. Sticking to your heart may only cause trouble.

The final point to see is that women like bad boys because they are often more attractive. These people are often ones that might take better care of themselves because they want to project their images of uniqueness to others. It can be a challenge for you to make yourself more attractive but it never hurts to at least go for it.

These are great reasons why so many women like bad boys as much as they do. You should think about these points when finding a way to make yourself a little more interesting to women.

In conclusion You can read more Singles Tips at free Asian Dating Agency

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tony_T_Tran

How to Know When a Marriage Is Really Over

By Tony T Tran

Sometimes it might be easier for you to think about how a marriage might about end. You can tell that a marriage is over by looking at a few things when it comes to what might happen with it.

First, you can tell that a marriage is over when every situation you and your partner gets into might end up falling into an argument. Even the smallest arguments might end up being huge deals in the household.

In fact, you might expect some of these arguments to erupt over some of the smallest details in your life. You can tell that the relationship is over when these arguments come out of things that you really should not be having any arguments over.

Another way to tell that a marriage is over is when you and your partner keep reminding each other about negative events and other problems. These are serious issues that often make it easier for people to suffer from emotional pains during a marriage. The worst part is that it will be easy for people to get into this problem when a marriage is about to end.

Next, you can notice that a marriage is over when you and your partner have stopped trying to get in touch with each other over trying to correct disputes. A good marriage is one where the two people who are in the relationship are able to resolve disputes with each other through simple compromises. A bad marriage that needs to end is one where you and your partner might try to argue over everything until one side ends up winning outright.

Sometimes a marriage can be over based on the sex that goes on between you and your partner. The big problem with a marriage is that people who are no longer happy with each might not feel the pleasure that they should be getting out of sex. It is a very bothersome issue but it has to be observed carefully because it may involve people just having sex because they are bored.

You shouldn't be having sex just to resolve boredom. It has to be something that is pleasing to everyone.

Finally, people often get out of marriages because people ignore each other. You can tell that your marriage has reached an end when your partner is not paying attention to your needs or problems or if you don't seem to care for yours. This is a painful problem because a good marriage should be between people who are calm and controlled over what they have.

You should be aware of what might happen in your relationship with someone. You need to be aware of when a marriage is over because there's a good chance that a relationship that is over might end up being too hard to deal with. The fact that it might be harder for you to get a marriage repaired after a while only makes it harder for you to consider. You just have to be aware of what you are doing when finding something of use.

In conclusion You can read more Dating Advice and tips at Singles Articles sites

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How To Text a Girl - Real Texting Examples

By Mark G Miller

Getting a pretty girl's attention can be difficult for some guys especially through text. Not all people have the skills to make someone fall for them through words. For that reason, some guys end up having no dates despite their efforts. As they say, girls are complex when it comes to emotions because they tend to change their moods every now and then. If you are a guy who is eager to create a good image on your first text message to a girl, here are some tips based on personal experience.

Appreciate Her

You might be wondering how to flirt with a girl over text. It is possible and even better to flirt through text because you can express your admiration without being scrutinized if you are saying the truth or not. Most girls want to analyze men's honesty even during initial meeting so flirting through text is like having an invisible shield. Based on experience, girls love being appreciated so this is the first move that every guy should know. Although most girls would react a bit defensive or would give a cold shoulder for the praises, they still prefer guys who appreciate them for what they are especially when it comes to little things. For instance, if you want to create a positive impression without sounding too smooth, you can tell her how you like her smile, the color of her dress, her earrings or even the way she combs her hair.

Show Your Concern

Girls are sensitive and emotional. They immediately react to things that hit their hearts. If you want to develop rapport to a girl, you can shower her with texts that show concern. Examples of which tons of good mornings, sweet good nights and a couple of how are yous.

Things to Remember

Always remember that not all girls are easy to get. However, there is always a way to crack a girl's code. Flirting with girls does not mean that you have to look like Johnny Bravo. You just need to be observant on things that they like and strike them there. Girls always like to be admired so you have to make sure that you always express your liking for them if you want to get their attention. As soon as you make their defense walls weak, you are sure to get their trust which will soon lead them to respond positively to you.

The author has spent a lot of time learning about how to text a girl and other related topics. Read more about what to text a girl you like at Lucy Greenswood's website.

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The Watch Man

By Charanjit Singh Arora

Eve

She was unhappy,

for,

her Adam was below her expectations,

he didn't agree always with her suggestions,

questioned her decisions and desires,

and differed occasionally;

she didn't like it,

but compromised at times,

which was against her nature,

she was used to get,

what ever she desired, unconditionally,

she had a strong will power,

and wanted to be the sole decision maker,

in her affairs.

She had prayed to God for a simple, plain husband,

who had a right, tolerant attitude, to abide by her dictates,

and she would reward him by being a homely spouse.

"He was OK," she thought,"earned adequate money,

yes, it was a basic necessity,

but life is much more,

he never remembers my birthday,

he takes me to movies of my choice,

but never gives me roses on Valentine Day,

takes me to resorts all over the world,

but makes me walk endlessly,

gives me money, whatever he has,

but avoids going shopping with me,

when I tell him, to clean his room,

he just starts hugging me,

he does not realise,

we are no longer newly married,

we are grand-parents now,

but how can a clean-maniac like me coexist,

with a cleanliness-phobic, who else but he?

What do I do,

for my peace of mind?"

Eve's friend

"It is so simple,

just a question of attitude.

He is to provide for your needs and your security,

and is to sort out your administrative hassles,

in day to day activities;

thereafter, if you have freedom of action,

be happy and contented.

Why should you insist on,

moulding him as your clone?

You are not satisfied with him, as he is,

he does not walk upright, is slouchy,

you want him to be just right, smart, sociable,

fit to be presentable to your kitty party friends.

Have you ever asked him, what does he expect from you?

When he requests you to show affection, to his parents,

do you speak to them or ring them, on your own,

wish them on their birth days,

or you think, it is not so important?

Do remember, if you demand a perfect spouse,

he too can desire the same.

So enjoy the imperfections of each other.

just relax,

live the life as you want to live,

and let him be around,

for your safety and security,

for,

in the present day world,

a lonely fairy like you is not safe,

without a personal, honorary security guard.

All you need is, an attitude change,

and all happiness is yours."

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Charanjit_Singh_Arora

Does Every New Relationship Feel Like DeJa Vu? How To Break That Pattern

By Michael Broder

We, as humans, are creatures of habit. But while patterns and rituals are typically helpful in maximizing brain space, certain patterns in our relationships don't usually serve us. For example, finding yourself in the "same relationship" over and over again can feel like déjà vu- and not in a good way. If you find yourself saying "hmm, I've been here before." and feel caught in the same issues with one relationship after another, maybe it's time to take a look at your particular relationship MO in order to break the pattern once and for all, so that you can find the person you're really looking for and then make that relationship thrive.

The first thing to acknowledge is what you really like about new relationships in the first place. Is it something specific to this new and unique person, or is it that intoxicating feeling of excitement and intrigue that comes with almost any initial attraction? Chances are, it's the "high" you have when you first connect with a perspective new partner along with the exciting prospect of a new relationship-with all the related fantasies- and the great sexual attraction. This together can feel so ecstatic and so right. Rogers and Hart nailed it in the song, "Falling In Love With Love." It's not until that initial fire dies down that you get to see if the relationship stands the true test of time. After this "honeymoon" period, you have a choice: move on to the next short-term relationship (aka déjà vu) or explore the prospect of you and your partner moving the relationship toward long-term status. At this point, do you find yourself having the same issues and arguments you did the last time around? For example, is this person scared of commitment just like the last person you dated? Are you blaming him or her for your disappointment that the effortless initial passion you had together has gone away-as by definition, initial passion always does?

So now is the time to ask yourself what's the pattern I keep finding myself in that keeps me from having the long term relationship I want? Once you recognize your specific pattern and take responsibility for it, you have empowered yourself to break that pattern and avoid revisiting your old relationship traps. For example, if you find that you often become another person's rebound relationship, you can make sure to ask the right questions to satisfy yourself that a new person you meet is ready for a new relationship. Also ask yourself what do I really want now that's different? Make sure you enter the dating world with clear criteria for what you're seeking in a new partner. In other words, use your head as well as your heart when searching for a mate. For example, if you've found yourself more than once in a situation with a person who is smothering or too demanding of your time, you may want to make sure a new partner has enough of a life of his or her own this time.

Remember: recognizing and then moving beyond the patterns that haven't worked up until now is the most important step you can take toward find a truly fulfilling and long-term relationship.

Michael S. Broder, PhD is a renowned psychologist, executive coach, bestselling author, continuing education seminar leader, and popular speaker. He is an acclaimed expert in cognitive behavioral therapy, specializing in high achievers and relationship issues. His work centers on bringing about major change in the shortest time possible. For more information, visit: http://stageclimbing.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Broder

How to Choose Between Two Men

By Cheryl T.

Are you involved in a committed relationship, but falling head over hill for someone else. Well, there will come a time when you will have to make a decision on who you want to be with. The tips below will help you to do just that.

Pay attention to your emotional state

You may be confused right now. But it will be worth your while to take the time to understand the way you are feeling. Do you still love your boyfriend or are you nostalgic about the past? Are you really in love with your lover or are you in lust? Guilt and shame are other emotions that you may be experiencing. Maybe your boyfriend treats you well and it is hurting you to want someone else. You may also resent your lover for coming into your life, although you maybe excited about seeing them. However, you do know that your life will never be the same again. You are half way out the door of your pre-existing relationship and desperate to keep the door of the new one from shutting in your face.

Be honest with yourself about the way you feel

You can't control the way you feel about other people. However, the longer it takes for you to admit that you feel the way you do, the stronger your feelings can become. You are not right or wrong for feeling the way you do. So go ahead and acknowledge the fact that these feelings exist.

Weigh your options

Love is not enough to keep a relationship together. You must ask yourself several questions. Which partner loves me the most? Which partner is better able to give me what I want and need? With which partner am I more compatible? And, who makes me happiest? Knowing the answer to these questions will help you to make the best choice for yourself.

Talk to both men involved in the situation

It will be hard. But you must let them know how you feel. It is unfair to your current boyfriend for you to make plans to be with someone else while he believes you are happy together. It is also not a good idea to allow your lover to believe you are about to leave your boyfriend as you try to patch things up. You may discover that your boyfriend has been feeling the same way and didn't know how to tell you. And, now you are both relieved. Or you may discover that your lover has no intentions of getting involved in a committed relationship with you--- making your decision a lot easier.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cheryl_T.

Letting the 'Young Man' Go

By Steve Wickham

In the case of initiation, when the boy returns, having fulfilled his rites of passage, "the boy's mother pretends not to know him. She asks to be introduced to 'the young man'."

~John Eldredge (paraphrasing Robert Bly)

This is a hard word for women with sons, but it is necessarily true in the folklore of masculinity.

Men need men and boys more so. If the root of many of the crimes within society committed today lay exposed, we would acknowledge the great injustice that is spurned against most if not all young men, that the rites of initiation are largely lost in our modern Western culture.

The lack of men in men's lives has harmed our men for decades, if not centuries.

The ancient tradition was for boys and young men to work with their fathers, and, at the age of about 12, be sent off for a little while with the older men to learn men's ways. What is vital about this is that 'men's ways' - properly constituted - are critical for the safe and healthy functioning of society.

Knowing men's ways, and being approved by other men to that end, means a young man is comfortable in and with himself.

When a man is comfortable with himself as a man he is gentle, and particularly gentle with women. He is respectful and sensitive and able to be intimate. He earns and values trust. He's not overly fearful. He is responsible and, indeed, a hard worker, with the right motivation to work. He knows his role in the family and in society and he rarely needs to be reminded. This is a real man.

This may seem a perfect picture, and, though none of us are perfect, he is the man all men should strive to be.

WHAT MOTHERS CAN DO FOR THEIR SONS

This is a truth that applies to all mothers with sons, whether married, widowed, divorced, or single. One of the most important tasks is to enlist the help of responsible male role model. With the right man to look up to a boy learns to emulate manly attitudes, values, and behaviours. It works without effort. All that is required is time, and an intentional focus on behalf of the mother and the male role model (whether it is his father or not).

In doing this, the mother is, for her son's own good, to let go during these times; and to let go, in the ultimate sense, when he reaches 'age' - about age 12-13. A big part of the letting go process is in not shaming him.

If the son has been mentored appropriately he will be ready to take up the mantle of a young man at age 12-13. He is not a man yet, and cannot be expected to be a man, but the transition to manhood is very well underway. Any mother that refuses their son this privilege is holding him back and damaging him. Yes, this is a hard word!

One of the responsibilities of mothers with sons is the letting go process - knowing when and how to let go; so in ascribing to him his manly dignity. And whilst the mother is always there to pick him up should he fall, she should allow him to fall, for no one is destroyed in the falling.

This is very much a wisdom task for the mother with a son.

***

For a boy to become a man - a safe man, who is safe in himself and caring with others, especially women - he must be trained and approved by other men. Women and mothers, no matter how well they try, struggle to take him through this transformation. Real men - responsible men - know how important it is to encourage and how to gently push men (and boys) younger than themselves. They know the importance of men for a man's self-esteem.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Baptist Pastor and holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com.au/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com.au/

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steve_Wickham

Ending the Journey of Hurt and Pain

By Steve Wickham

For the many, this will be a pipedream - to end the journey of hurt and pain; relational hurt and pain.

Let us face some facts: nobody is beyond hurt and everyone has buttons, that, when pressed, light up an alarm panel of stinging and putrid rejection. Everyone, of course, has different ways of dealing with such a thing. Some just dismiss it out of hand. Others take it more to heart. The latter is not weaker than the former, just different, and perhaps more relationally caring.

We should not pretend that ending the journey of hurt and pain will be an easy one. What seems so simple from the outside is calamitously complex from within.

We cannot do it without God.

This is the point. The only way through to any semblance of healing from the hurt and pain of relational conflict that was buried long ago, or may have even been recent but that which really wrangles, is through the power of God to give us the temporary power to make a decision, commit to an action, and then carry that action out.

Sometimes these actions need to be ongoing. Day upon day we have the same challenge. The sustainability of such actions will be tested. We may fear giving up. That is a rational fear.

We are all susceptible to such fear.

And because we are relational creatures, our fears, mostly, come about because of the relationships. The world would not be one tenth as complex if it wasn't for other people who are so different from (or perhaps too similar to) ourselves. It's not their fault any more than it is ours.

Our opportunity is to forgive - this day; no delay. To set ourselves free from the bondage of having our thoughts stolen away and our feelings held to ransom, because we are hurt, is the answer of God, due our simple yet comprehensive obedience of surrender.

Yes, surrender.

We know such a word, yet we do not like it. It requires sacrifice on our side of things. We are the hurt, yet we are the ones that have to do the work. It just seems more unfair.

But as we take the initiative, we wrest the control of the situation.

It's the only thing we can do, yet it is the only thing we need to do. When we are prepared to give the smaller issue away, we gain the larger issues of life. When we reject our feelings of rejection and embrace any sense of acceptance that is real for us, we experience the feeling of healing. But the source of acceptance needs to be a healthy one.

Surrendering these things that have held us captive for too long is peace and release. A life that started large, yet, because of hurt and pain became small, gets large again, and beautiful in its experience of God through our relationships.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

Steve Wickham is a Registered Safety Practitioner and holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com.au/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com.au/

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Do You See Your Potential

By Reeny Carvotta Barron

To live successful lives as women, we are constantly defining and redefining who we are, how we move in the world and how our personal definitions of success hold up to society and the world around us. Can you see your potential?

Many of us wear multiple hats: mother, partner, business owner or professional, caretaker of older parents - it's rewarding and can be exhausting as well. Yet, we seem to find a way to balance all our roles, even if we sometimes find ourselves exhausted and low on emotional resources.

I'm a firm believer that as women, we possess power, grace, potential and ability that although sometimes seems beyond our knowing, is really just buried, waiting for us to excavate and act on.

It's so much easier for us to see the potential and wonder in those we love than it is to see it in ourselves. And yet, we truly are our own best resource for ideas, for guidance and for problem solving. Of course, we thrive when we get support - most women are not wired to go it alone. We particularly like tapping into the resources that the women in our lives often are.

Have you ever had the experience of knowing exactly what to say to a friend in need? You know just the right words to comfort and encourage. You believe in her completely and you can be the mirror she needs to reflect your view and regain her confidence and belief in herself.

Yet, when it comes to your own needs and dealing with your own challenges, you feel less generous and kind and a lot less knowing as well. Why is that? I'm here to tell you there is a way to tap into that well of compassion and deep knowing and use it to nurture yourself, to find your truth and to vision your life exactly as you want it to be.

Then, you can realize that vision. We live busy lives in a fast-paced world and we can so easily lose sight of our inner knowing and abilities. Yet, they lay dormant, just under the surface and easy to access, easier than you might imagine or realize.

It's often a case of 'remembering' what you already know and being shown how to tap into your own wisdom, to recalibrate your inner compass to lead you exactly where you most desire to go. I've spent the better part of the last 2 years doing research, thinking, reflecting and writing. I've questioned how I can help other women tap into what they know and realize their dreams.

My book Awaken the Heart of You is the fruit of those years and it's available for you to follow and to look into your potential as stand in your essence and step back into your strength and inner knowing. Click here to learn more

Passion and Possibilities - the essence of Your Your Business Your Life. Reeny's blog includes inspirational articles showing you how to use your business to create your ideal lifestyle. "Get Started" Find out what stands in your way, clarify your gifts,define who you are in the heart of your business. Here you will have access to simple tools and templates that you can use right NOW to realize change in yourself and your business as you continue to make a difference http://www.passionandpossibilities.com/gifts.

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Become A Woman Of Substance

By Trudy-Ann Ewan

Becoming a Woman of Substance is more than just being a female, wife or being and becoming a mother. A Woman of Substance holds her head up high, she carries herself with respect regardless of where she is. She DOES NOT compete with other women. That's a waste of her precious time. A Woman of Substance is a Leader in her own life. She is focused on her personal development and self-growth. She knows that in order for her to be ready for an intimate relationship she needs to know how to be with herself and love being with herself. She is not defined by her gender, her ability or inability to give birth, nor does she see herself lesser than a man or even another woman.

She is not threatened by any woman. She lives her life with confidence. She has a high self-esteem and she knows that her worth is PRICELESS! She does not blame herself for the behaviours of her Intimate Partner nor does she seek to blame anyone outside of her marriage. She is not insecure and as such she does not go after other women who she suspects are involved with her Significant Other. She does not give her power away to her Significant Other nor does she give away her Power to the so-called "Other Woman".

A Woman of Substance does not have the time to waste getting involved in immature and childish behaviours. That is why it is so very important for those in her inner circles to also be Women and Men of Substance. A W.o.S knows that having in her life anyone who lacks substance will tear down her Mind and her high level of living. She removes herself from anything that is not bringing growth and substance to her life.

Because she knows her worth and she knows she is a Woman of Substance, she is not afraid to wait for a Man of Substance to cross her path. She just doesn't take the first pick because she is afraid of becoming an old maid or because some so-called biological clock is running out. A Woman of Substance seeks to empower ALL women to become Queen of Sheba, who was the original Woman of Substance. A Woman of Substance doesn't jump for any man. She walks calmly and in her own time to him. And if he can't wait, then she has no problem letting him go.

A Woman of Substance, who is married, holds her household together. She has no time chasing after her Husband, searching his text messages, stalking his FB Page, checking the phone records, watching his every move or trying to watch, stalk and or harass the movements of any woman she suspects he's involved with. That's time wasting. A Woman of Substance does not stoop to engage in gutter behaviour because that would make her lose her Woman of Substance title, which is her badge of honour. Instead she takes the time to heal her household.

A Woman of Substance is a Spiritual Woman, who uses the Spiritual Cleanser called Love to forge a deeper bond and a more solid and unbreakable relationship with her husband, thereby building a better foundation for her marriage. And by doing that she has no time to look outside of her household. She doesn't allow anyone to hold her and her life hostage. She gets it together, calls on her inner strength to help her to move forward and then she does that. Become and Be a Woman of Substance because there is no excuse to be anything less!!!

Trudy-Ann Ewan specializes in empowering women to become more within themselves. She works with them to build a healthier relationship with themselves so they can build better relationships with others. Sign up for your Trudy-Ann's free Newsletter, "Creating Your Passionate Life" when you visit http://www.trudyannewan.com. Feel free to contact Trudy-Ann Ewan via the website if you are interested in any of her Speaking and/or Coaching Services.

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The Power of Love

By Nick F Brucker

Love is the single most powerful energy in the universe. When someone says "Love," it often becomes skewed with romance, or to us guys, "unmanly." Many neglect to see that there are many different types of love:

*Self-love
*Tough Love
*Compassionate Love
*Brotherly Love
The list goes on...

What makes "Love" so powerful??
The answer is- The same thing that makes fear so powerful! Our Emotions

We as humans were born with Love in our hearts. As time goes on, we often replace this Love with Fear. Today it is nearly impossible not to have any Fear, since we live in a world where materials and others perception means everything.

Many of us tend to forget that "Love" is actually a choice! Sure a feeling can strike you when you first endure this positive vibe, but does that automatically mean you have "fallen in love" like its some kind of ditch?

Let me ask you this... 

If your boss makes you upset, do you automatically bash his/her brains in?? Even though many of us would like to 99% of the time we choose not to. But why?! Because we think ahead and know we will be left jobless, or worse... It's the same with Love! Sure we may find someone, or something we feel we cannot live without, but the end all-be all is still within our control to make a comprehensive decision.

At this point, you may be thinking, "Alright Nick, what are you getting at here?"

So glad you asked! I'm stating that we CAN acquire the single-most powerful force known to man if we choose to!

For example-- Two people start the same job at the exact same time. One person absolutely loves their job, while the other person views it as a typical "9-5". The person that loves their job will exceed quickly without question since they are excited to get up for work each day and give it their all. This then leads to a higher job position, which means--more pay! A person that loves their job will not allow the extra income to go to their head. They use the extra income in a way that will allow them to provide greater value within their field of expertise.

Meanwhile, as this perpetual cycle of wealth continues, the other person chooses to keep living their own perpetual cycle of unhappiness, and misfortune every single day they walk into work

"You can have anything you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want." -Zig Ziglar

With Love, you can have anything you want because you naturally have a desire to help others get what they want. This in return will get you what you want! Not only will Love provide you the necessities to succeed, but it will also allow you to greatly appreciate each and every day, and those who are part of it.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nick_F_Brucker

Self Consideration

By Demeitta M. Wesley

When is it okay to consider one's self in proper social etiquette? Many people attempt to control feedback from others by doing unto them as they desire to be treated. There is little encouragement and few positive examples of self-consideration as a positive lifestyle. The ones portrayed in media are typically rich and famous and the majority of them have a selfish image in the perception of onlookers. Selfish is the opposite of selfless; which is better respected and often aimed for. Life without self, logically, is no life at all.

Considering one's self doesn't have to include lack of consideration for others. People choose their response to any given moment based on what is believed about self in relation to the situation. I have noticed that people who feel a lack in consideration for themselves tend to consider self over others more often, without concern for feelings outside of their own.

Self-consideration allows control over the only thing we have full control over. When you consider yourself, you are automatically given an experience of being considered. This gives you control over the way you feel. Once life moments flow in a path guided by self-consideration, it is accompanied with inspiration for considering others.

When was the last time you gave consideration for what you wanted to do or experience, outside of your parents, peers, children, spouse, boss, and anyone else? Could you benefit from more moments of self-consideration? It's easy to begin making you, not just an important aspect of your life, but the center as you are naturally.

My mother was a single woman who raised 5 children. I grew up witnessing an up close and personal view of selfless living. She always aimed to please everybody; her mother, children, and whomever she happened to cross paths with. In return, she often felt short changed, unappreciated, and wronged in some way. She lived 49 years believing it was unethical, according to her view of herself relative to the world, to think of herself. Any thought of self could have been better spent on someone else whom she believed needed her. She interacted with many select people and few of them seemed to consider how she felt. Depression mingled with her being to the extent it disguised as normal presentation.

Momma died on a Friday, a day before Mother's Day. Friday had become significant to her because it was a day she'd come to expect disappointment. It was the day of the week that her boyfriend, shortly before her death, got paid and disappeared until the following Monday. I shared many Fridays with her creatively lifting her spirits and reminding her of her greatness. Eventually, I was able to take her departure from life as a move towards self-consideration. Her body was severely ill and the stress level in her life was high. She was asthmatic and challenged with panic attacks. Life in my mother's perspective was hard and rough. Death was her release.

Considering one's self adds value to life. Your life is you, being designed moment by moment by you, and is experienced by only you. Life feels better when you are included.

If there is something you have been saying you want to do, will do, or would do if only, give yourself permission to make a step towards it. You really can move in the direction of your desires, even if you are the center of a mountain of responsibility. This may be the first area you reconsider. What things are you currently acting responsible for? Why do you choose to assume the positions? Are the current roles you play in your life accurate of your nature and desires? What adjustments would be beneficial?

Balance is essential in all aspects of life. There is; Ying and Yang, day and night, awake and asleep. An optimal functioning person must feel balanced in their life, body, and spirit. Only then do they have access to the unlimited possibilities that are available. Most humans experience prolonged imbalance in these areas. Time is another area of struggle.

There are people who are habitually late. Others are punctual workaholics. And, there are those who relentlessly procrastinate. And those who don't know how to relax and play. All of the human conditions mentioned are expressions of imbalance. Balance of time guided by self-consideration could be a start of desired changes. People who are habitually late could schedule time for them to be carefree and relaxed along with time to prepare for an engagement, and then time to get there on time. People typically don't think in this way. It is easier to simply attach the label to self than to orchestrate a change that would feel better than being habitually late.

People who are responsible for others tend to live imbalanced lives. It is easy to slip into selflessness when other people are objects of attention. It doesn't matter that life doesn't feel good. Adapting to discomfort is natural because thriving organisms adapt. Natural doesn't equal requirement. Fully living and enjoying life is quite different from simply thriving in it. Your life is yours. Only you decide whether you feel good in it or not.

Write yourself notes of encouraging words that remind you of your strengths and value. Do things that bring you joy and that easily evokes smiles. Learn something new and interesting. Be creative and explore your curiosities and passions.

The only way you can experience self-consideration is to incorporate it into your life. As you demonstrate love for you, you set an example for others to love themselves. You also, inevitably harness love to express through yourself. Feeling loved and considered is a wish of many. It is available should you decide to experience it.

I wish you unlimited consideration of yourself, your desires, and dreams. May you allow your greatness to emerge.

You are welcome to visit http://dreamchild78.wix.com/agreateryouawaits for inspiration and motivation.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Demeitta_M._Wesley

Are You Truly In Love?

By Monica Mi'Chelle

So you have been with your spouse for many, many years now. Can you really say that you have truly experienced Love with this person? Do you even know the meaning of True Love? Some people have been together forever, yet they have never really experienced True Love with each other. Some are still together for convenience and others are only together for fear of starting over once leaving the one to whom they are already familiar. The more you resist your true feelings, the more you will wonder what it will be like to be truly in Love; and you will find yourself pondering these thoughts while you are in your present relationship. If you are thinking about Love and how deeply you want to feel it while you are already in a relationship; you have indeed already answered the question that serves as the title of this article: "Are You Truly In Love?"

Godly Love is a Love that simply can not be described or understood. It is an event that happens at an appointed time, and all things surrounding this Godly Love just automatically falls into place. It was ordained this way from the beginning of time. When the two people who were separated in the beginning find their way back to each other, this is the beginning of their New Heaven and New Earth. All things align for these two people and they become whole again. They are One again. They are now Perfect. There is no doubt where their Love is concerned, as their Love is solid and of God. Their Love is God!

There is no hurt, turmoil, fighting, or uncertainty when Godly Love brings the two together at their appointed time. Everyone whom wants to experience this Love will, because you constantly think about it, even while you are in your present relationship. If you are thinking about being In Love while in a relationship, you are not yet In Love. You can only experience Godly Love 'One Time' with the One whom you were separated from at the beginning of time. So in all actuality, you have never really been In Love, not true Godly Love. How would you know? Well, Love is God and God is Love. When you experience this kind of extraordinary Love, your whole entire world, as well as the world around you in general will absolutely change. Everything around you will look and be different. You will live in an entirely New World from everyone else. You will not understand nor comprehend the way others are thinking on their current perceptions and views of reality. It will be totally mind-boggling to you when others are mean and disrespectful towards each other. You will be baffled by the slightest negative remark made by others regarding any topic or person. This is True Love. This is God. You will be living in the Light of Love, the Light of God when you meet your One whom will complete you. When this event happens, you will just pick up where you two left off from the beginning of time and "Creation Will Be Complete."

Copyright © 2013 Monica Mi'Chelle. All Rights Reserved.

Monica Mi'Chelle is also known as Monica M. Burns and Dr. Monica M. Burns PhD. She owns and operates Monica Mi'Chelle Communications. She has written for various publications, websites and books. She is a Writer and Spiritual Advisor whom seeks to assist others in finding Peace of Mind and Heart through Love. God is Love and Love is God. When man learns that with Love and through Love is the only way to survive, then will he be able to live in this New Heaven and New Earth. Should you desire to contact Monica Mi'Chelle for more information on Spiritual matters, questions or comments visit her website at: http://mmichelleburns.wix.com/monica-michelle

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