How Sensate Focus Helps You Master your Erections
This is a ground-breaking system for enhancing pleasure and resolving sexual problems on your own without pills, pumps or positions. The 3 basic elements are:
Focusing on Sensation:
1) Learn to focus on the sensations in your body. Many men are oblivious to what they are feeling in their bodies and their penises. Your attention should be completely focused on what sensual and sexual sensations you are feeling.
2) This is an important distinction that needs to be made. Sensate focus utilizes a caress when touching. A caress explores the sensations generated by your nerve endings. A massage works your muscles and diminishes sensation.
3) A caress is characterized by the following:
the touch is light
the touch is slow
the touch is about exploration.
the touch has no agenda
the touch involves keeping constant contact with the body.
You don't want the contact to be disjointed. It isn't helpful to start touching, lift your hand off the body, back on, and then off. Usually this means you are thinking about what to do next. This off and on actions are not nearly as pleasurable to your partner as maintaining a constant slow touch.
Ask yourself: What sensations are you experiencing now? How does your body feel? What does your penis feel and where are you feeling the different sensations? By becoming a master at recognizing your sensations, you can regain your erection.
Improve Your Mental Focus
Erections begin in the mind. Building a better erection requires laser sharp concentration. We are all besieged with the stresses of everyday life-your job, paying bills, problems in your relationship, and financial fears. You need to set all of these "distractions" aside and learn to do a "mind dump" to release worries and anxiety.
This is how the mind focus works:
1) First, find a quiet room where you won't be disturbed. Television and music are turned off, cells phones are off, and the dog is in the backyard. Nothing in the vicinity should be allowed to disturb your concentration.
2) Sit comfortably in a chair with a back (you don't want to aggravate your spine while doing this). Unfold your hands and feet. Close your eyes and relax your body. Focus your breathing as a point of reference - focus on the inhale of breath into the body and the exhale of breath out of your body.
3) When you inhale, your abdomen should fill with air, not your lungs or shoulders. This basic form of breathing is called belly breathing.
4) When random thoughts intrude into your mind you need to release them. Transform your thoughts it into a gentle image - a waterfall, waves on the ocean, clouds in the sky. See that image in the front of your mind. Then watch it slowly move beyond your eyesight and release it, like tossing a newspaper behind you. Let it go. Release it and immediately refocus on your breathing.
This can be challenging at first. The conscious mind may rebel and will seek to fill itself with random thoughts. After a while, this reflex to have a "busy mind" will subside and you will be able to proceed with minimal thought. Focus solely on the sounds of the flow of your breath inhaling and exhaling, your body will soon relax and your mind will quiet. With continued practice, you should be able to maintain this position for fifteen to twenty minutes per day.
Relaxation
When we feel anxious our whole body responds. Muscles tighten, breathing becomes shallower, and we become more distracted. As part of the sensate focus method, you will learn to relax your entire body. One technique is called progressive relaxation:
Lie down on a comfortable bed or sofa.
1. Eliminate distractions-turn off cells phones, PDA's, and pagers.
2. Start to notice the sensations in your head, then proceed down the body to your neck, shoulders, chest, abdomen, arms and hands, genitals, thighs, buttocks, legs and feet.
3. You will start the process of tightening and releasing every part of your body. Begin with your head, inhale deeply and then tighten your face, your eyes, your mouth. Hold for approximately 5 seconds, exhale and relax. Repeat this tightening and releasing exercise utilizing every part of your body. Don't rush. Take your time.
4. Next inhale and tighten your entire body. Hold the tension for 5 seconds and then exhale and relax. Repeat this 3 times.
Meditation-Relaxation. As with the Mental Focus techniques mentioned above, take easy breaths, inhaling and exhaling. Let yourself drift. Continue for 10-15 minutes.
A tension-free body and a quiet mind are essential for creating the best environment to improve your erections.
Preparation
It is important for a man to learn to tune into the sensations he feels in his testicles, scrotum, along with the shaft, and the head of his penis. This awareness allows all learning to take place resulting in a man's ability to achieve and maintain his erection.
Prepare for your practice by creating a relaxation ritual for yourself. Such a ritual could be taking a walk, reading a book, engaging in deep breathing, listening to a guided visualization tape or easy listening music. Create a relaxed mindset.
This is a ground-breaking system for enhancing pleasure and resolving sexual problems on your own without pills, pumps or positions. The 3 basic elements are:
Focusing on Sensation:
1) Learn to focus on the sensations in your body. Many men are oblivious to what they are feeling in their bodies and their penises. Your attention should be completely focused on what sensual and sexual sensations you are feeling.
2) This is an important distinction that needs to be made. Sensate focus utilizes a caress when touching. A caress explores the sensations generated by your nerve endings. A massage works your muscles and diminishes sensation.
3) A caress is characterized by the following:
the touch is light
the touch is slow
the touch is about exploration.
the touch has no agenda
the touch involves keeping constant contact with the body.
You don't want the contact to be disjointed. It isn't helpful to start touching, lift your hand off the body, back on, and then off. Usually this means you are thinking about what to do next. This off and on actions are not nearly as pleasurable to your partner as maintaining a constant slow touch.
Ask yourself: What sensations are you experiencing now? How does your body feel? What does your penis feel and where are you feeling the different sensations? By becoming a master at recognizing your sensations, you can regain your erection.
Improve Your Mental Focus
Erections begin in the mind. Building a better erection requires laser sharp concentration. We are all besieged with the stresses of everyday life-your job, paying bills, problems in your relationship, and financial fears. You need to set all of these "distractions" aside and learn to do a "mind dump" to release worries and anxiety.
This is how the mind focus works:
1) First, find a quiet room where you won't be disturbed. Television and music are turned off, cells phones are off, and the dog is in the backyard. Nothing in the vicinity should be allowed to disturb your concentration.
2) Sit comfortably in a chair with a back (you don't want to aggravate your spine while doing this). Unfold your hands and feet. Close your eyes and relax your body. Focus your breathing as a point of reference - focus on the inhale of breath into the body and the exhale of breath out of your body.
3) When you inhale, your abdomen should fill with air, not your lungs or shoulders. This basic form of breathing is called belly breathing.
4) When random thoughts intrude into your mind you need to release them. Transform your thoughts it into a gentle image - a waterfall, waves on the ocean, clouds in the sky. See that image in the front of your mind. Then watch it slowly move beyond your eyesight and release it, like tossing a newspaper behind you. Let it go. Release it and immediately refocus on your breathing.
This can be challenging at first. The conscious mind may rebel and will seek to fill itself with random thoughts. After a while, this reflex to have a "busy mind" will subside and you will be able to proceed with minimal thought. Focus solely on the sounds of the flow of your breath inhaling and exhaling, your body will soon relax and your mind will quiet. With continued practice, you should be able to maintain this position for fifteen to twenty minutes per day.
Relaxation
When we feel anxious our whole body responds. Muscles tighten, breathing becomes shallower, and we become more distracted. As part of the sensate focus method, you will learn to relax your entire body. One technique is called progressive relaxation:
Lie down on a comfortable bed or sofa.
1. Eliminate distractions-turn off cells phones, PDA's, and pagers.
2. Start to notice the sensations in your head, then proceed down the body to your neck, shoulders, chest, abdomen, arms and hands, genitals, thighs, buttocks, legs and feet.
3. You will start the process of tightening and releasing every part of your body. Begin with your head, inhale deeply and then tighten your face, your eyes, your mouth. Hold for approximately 5 seconds, exhale and relax. Repeat this tightening and releasing exercise utilizing every part of your body. Don't rush. Take your time.
4. Next inhale and tighten your entire body. Hold the tension for 5 seconds and then exhale and relax. Repeat this 3 times.
Meditation-Relaxation. As with the Mental Focus techniques mentioned above, take easy breaths, inhaling and exhaling. Let yourself drift. Continue for 10-15 minutes.
A tension-free body and a quiet mind are essential for creating the best environment to improve your erections.
Preparation
It is important for a man to learn to tune into the sensations he feels in his testicles, scrotum, along with the shaft, and the head of his penis. This awareness allows all learning to take place resulting in a man's ability to achieve and maintain his erection.
Prepare for your practice by creating a relaxation ritual for yourself. Such a ritual could be taking a walk, reading a book, engaging in deep breathing, listening to a guided visualization tape or easy listening music. Create a relaxed mindset.
Tara Livingston has been a sex therapist and educator in Los
Angeles for more than 25 years. She is the author of several books on
sexuality and is often sought by the media for her expertise in
sexuality and intimacy.
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tara_Livingston
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