By Mike Deschaine
If you have to ask, "Hey Mike, what's the Friend Zone?," odds are, you've never experienced it! Awesome! You don't need to read any further!
However, if you are like the rest of us, you have most likely been MADLY in love with a special girl, only to have her break your heart when she uttered that spine-chilling, butterfly-in-the-stomach phrase, that made you want to throw up ---
"You're such a great FRIEND!"
Ouch! It stings, but don't worry I'm here to help so that never happens again!
The 3 Mistakes You're probably making That Keep You In The Friend Zone
Mistake #1 - Treating her like a FRIEND
So many men make this mistake. They think the best way to "get the girl" is to become friends with her first - then wait for her to realize how different he is from all of the other guys she has dated in the past.
The problem is - If I want to sell a new style of running shoe, a gym where people are active might be a good place to find people who are looking for my running shoes, right? Now, when I approach a gym member about my new shoes, should I pretend I'm selling something completely different, like life insurance? Probably not the best idea.
When you position yourself with a woman from the start as a FRIEND, when you really want to be her BOYFRIEND - you're essentially pretending to sell her that life insurance when you're really there to sell running shoes. You're lying! So imagine her surprise when the girl thought you were her best friend, and finds out that you have feelings for her.
What to do Instead - If you meet a girl that you know you are immediately attracted to, make it known early on that you are interested in more. Sometimes that's easier said than done, I know. However, if you just take the chance, two possible things may happen:
1) She feels the same way.
2) She says no thank you, but you still recover and make her your friend (for real).
Mistake #2 - Letting her Lead you- -It's no secret that the most attractive quality to a woman a man can have, is confidence! The more confident you are the more likely you are to believe in yourself when it comes to leading other people. The two qualities go hand-in-hand. So, it is safe to say that most women find "leaders" attractive. Most men think the best way to win after becoming friends with her, is to "make her happy" by letting her make all the decisions and going along with whatever she wants to do.
What to do instead - Position yourself as the leader right from the start. I know it sounds contradictory to what we have all been taught, but I promise, this is the way to get her to chase you, instead of you chasing her. You can do this by simply being "the idea man" as I like to call it. Be the guy that always has a cool suggestion for what to do and where to go. Then, simply be the first person to make a suggestion. Eventually she (and even her friends if done correctly) will look to you for approval when someone else makes a suggestion. When you notice this, you're on the right track.
Mistake #3 - Blaming Her... - When many men fail to get the girl, they sometimes will replay events in their minds looking for where they went wrong. When they can't find any (because they THINK they are doing everything correctly), they begin to blame the girl and her failure to see how perfect he is. This is unhealthy and can sometimes make the man very cynical.
What to do instead - Be a man, look in the mirror, and realize that your actions led you to where you are. It is not her fault that she thought she was buying life insurance and you dropped shoes on her desk. It's your fault that you went about it the wrong way.
But don't worry! There's hope! You can definitely learn how to do it right!
BONUS ADVICE: Want to learn my foolproof techniques to Get Out of The Friend Zone for free?
Grab your free access to the methods I have used in the past that worked, and even a checklist of things to look for to tell if you are currently in - or heading toward - The Friend Zone.
This and much more can be found at http://www.approachingthewoman.com/friendzonesp
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Deschaine
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