Stop Trying to Fill the Void In Your Life With a Woman

By John Howkins

There are many men out there who have only one goal in mind - to find a woman who will complete them. Of course, most of them aren't looking for "miss right" with this pattern of thought. But subconsciously, this is exactly what's happening. They want to get a girl just to feel better about themselves, to fill the void in their lives, otherwise they will be miserable.

This is exactly where the problem arises this article is talking about: when you are looking for a girl just because you need to feel complete, normal or better about yourself, then you are doing it for all the wrong reasons.

The empty cup mentality is just wrong! You shouldn't need a girl to feel complete. If you really think that a woman on your side will make you a better person, your priorities in life are totally messed up. You have to hammer this into your head: a woman won't make you a different or better person. You will still be the same guy, with the same problems you started out with, but only with a girlfriend.

The only person in the world, who can really change you, who can make a massive impact in your life, is YOU. Sure, a woman on your side can give you the needed push to become a better person, but only when you let her.

The idea of completing each other is nice and all but taking it too far can at times be dangerous. Just imagine she dumps you. Now you feel incomplete, you feel worthless without her in your life and start doubting in your self-image, your self-worth. Nothing seems as important as her and all you can think about is getting her back. This way of thinking ruins lives and can take a very dark turn when guys decide that without a woman, life is not worth living.

You can't allow yourself to hope, that when you finally find a girlfriend, she will be the answer to your life. You are putting a tremendous pressure on a girl in the hopes she will fix your problems. You are asking her to fill a hole in you, she simply can't fill! This leads you to depend on her and it's a downward spiral what will eventually destroy the relationship.

Don't get me wrong, I believe it's possible that the completing each other mentality could work, but only if the couple has a healthy mindset to begin with. Both would have to work on their own flaws first and not hope for the other person doing all the heavy lifting for them. If one of them will bring more emotional baggage to the relationship than the other can handle, then the relationship will be doomed.

The solution to a healthy relationship and a healthy lifestyle is to lose your empty cup mentality and accept that you have to constantly work on yourself and not look for someone else to do it for you. Trust me, I have been there and experienced it myself. Only when you learn to pull your own weight will you become satisfied.

However one thing I have to tell you, should you take my advice, is this: if you are working on solving your own problems and trying to become a better person, and a woman should come along, don't write her off because you are not where you want to be. It becomes counter-productive when you chase perfection with the goal in mind of getting girls but never try to hook up with them.

If you achieve your goals, you will always find something new to work on and you will never become complete (and that's OK). Many guys who work on themselves are still miserable because they chase perfection and it becomes an excuse for them not to act. It's the constant progression that you should strive for not the perfection/feeling complete and it's also a thing women love in a man.

Like I said before, do not hope for a girl to fix you or complete you. Do it yourself and you will be happy. Because if you are happy person, the women you will meet and eventually attract will be happy.

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